South Lanarkshire Leisure and Culture

 

Written and directed by Paul Moore.

From here to maternity…

And for every pregnant mother climbing that hill to Rottenrow, it took an eternity!

It’s a cold night in May 2001…Big Andy and his sidekick in security, Slim Si are watching over the decrepit wards of the iconic Rottenrow Maternity Hospital, the night before it feels the pain of the wrecking ball and is razed to the ground, with no epidural to numb the pain. The end of an epidural era! On their midnight “tour of duty”, our two hapless Security Guards wander through the wards and stumble upon an old box…containing patient files, cod liver oil and a lot of vodka…

And as the vodka kicks in…he reminisces with Slim Si about how him and his siblings were all birthed in the Rooms of Rottenrow…and thousands of others. The Birth of a Nation!  

Before long, it’s drams and prams, pains and weans, distractions and contractions….as The Wummin on The Wards emerge to give birth to their stories (and their weans) in full thrust Glasgow style. Literally all the belly aching hilarity…and a few hysterectomies too. A show that will have you in stitches!!

From the writer of the smash hit musical comedies “The Provy Wummin” and “Meet Me at Boots Corner” – with the pulsating patter of big toe tapping musical numbers-from Bassey to The Beatles and Boney M…and so many more!!

Not to be missed. Grab a seat and pay a visit with your Lucozade and grapes and reminisce about “Rottenrow”

Age restriction 16+

Adult humour and subject to strong language

Available to book online or by calling Lanark Memorial Hall on 01555 673199.

Cost: £24.00 / group 10+ 10% discount (subject to £1.50 transaction fee)

 

Our hugely popular, long running Tea Dances return on Thursdays on the following dates;

• 30 July
• 27 August
• 24 September
• 29 October
• 26 November

Time: 1.30pm to 3.30pm

Tickets: £2.50

John Findlay provides the live music for our series of Tea Dances with a mixture of sequence and ballroom to suit all tastes.

Tea and biscuits provided.

Book early to avoid disappointment! Call Rutherglen Town Hall on 0141 613 5700.

Cost: £2.50

A tribute to the music of Meat Loaf.

Carlton Entertainment brings you their brand-new production featuring Meat Loaf’s greatest hits.

Following a SOLD OUT tour of Spain in 2024, this showstopping concert launched across Europe in 2025.

Featuring the incredible vocals of Lee Brady and an awesome band made up of the UK’s most highly-skilled and reputable rock musicians and female rock vocalists. . . this spellbinding concert will take you on a rollercoaster ride of Meat Loaf’s greatest hits of all time, including: Anything For Love – Bat Out Of Hell – Paradise by the Dashboard Light – Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth – Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad – Dead Ringer For Love and many, many more.

Available to book online or by calling East Kilbride Arts Centre on 01355 261000.

Cost: £28.00 (subject to £1.50 transaction fee)

Fans of The Beatles prepare to be wowed by the world’s favourite Liverpool-born tribute to the Fab Four – with an all-new show for 2026.

The Mersey Beatles have been rocking sold-out shows around the globe since 1999 with their truly authentic and widely acclaimed celebration of John, Paul, George and Ringo.

The band – who clocked up more than 600 appearances in a 10-year residency at Liverpool’s legendary Cavern Club – brilliantly exude the inner and outer spirit of the original Fab Four.

From the costumes, instruments, cheeky Scouse wit and, of course, that brilliant era-defining Mersey sound, The Mersey Beatles stunning live stage show is a gloriously presented hit-packed celebration of the music that changed the world.

Throughout two unforgettable hours, they take the audience on a fabulous ride through the ‘mop top’ hits of Beatlemania to the psychedelic creativity and melodic wonder of the Fab Four’s later studio work.

New for 2026 – The Mersey Beatles celebrate the 60th anniversary of Revolver and the hits of 1966.

So, roll up, roll up for this very special ‘Magical History Tour’ – a splendid time is guaranteed for all!

Available to book online or by calling The Town House Hamilton on 01698 452299.

Cost: £28.50 (subject to £1.50 transaction fee)

 

Geez a Break productions present When We Were Young.

The public and critically acclaimed multi-award winning show is back for 2026.

This five star show goes beyond the tabloid stereotype of ‘Neds’ to tell a powerful and hilarious story about the realities of gang culture and young team mentality in Glasgow during the 90’s, as we follow the lives of one of the many young teams who polluted the streets of the city during a time it was as The Murder Capital of Europe

This show contains strong language, adult humour and blood and is recommend for audiences aged 16+.

***** Utter class - DAILY RECORD 

***** A triumph , one not to be missed - GLASGOW THEATRE BLOG

**** Comedy that rages fast and furiously in this drama that offers a great night out for audiences - THE SCOTSMAN

**** So well conceived and beautifully presented - LISA IN THE THEATRE 

Available to book online or by calling Rutherglen Town Hall on 0141 613 5700.

Cost: £18.00 / £16.00 concession (subject to £1.50 transaction fee)